This generation is all of 5 months old, and already I’m fucking sick of it.
To be fair, the shit sack it currently is traces its roots back to early last year. I watched, live, as Sony had some weird philosophical meeting where they showed, well, pretty much sweet fuck all of their new console, Playstation 4. And I watched, as comments threads lit up everywhere:
"This generation is 1080P60 or bust."
"Nah man, 4K’s the new big market. 1080P’s going to be for the peasants."
"Man, fuck this casual shit. WHERE IS COD."
It went on like that, regardless of what was shown, for fucking ages. Only the idea of streaming games got attention, but even then it wasn’t for good reasons (“why the fuck do I want to play old shit on my new console? Fuck that”).
5 months in, and it’s worse.
I’ve just sat and watched a few pre-launch Titanfall streams, and the chat is fucking terrible. “Looks like a shitty COD clone with robots”, “shitty Crysis 3 mod is shitty”, “fuck this game”, “PS4EVA” and so on and so forth. People just fucking TRASHING the hell out of a game that they can’t even play yet, and I would bet the say they never want to; it’s XBO/360/PC exclusive, and this generation’s all about PS4. They’re far happier to say “man this games looks like ass compared to Killzone SF” and “bring on Second Son” and other such garbage than entertain for a minute that there is a game on a platform they’re not throwing their frothing weight behind that could both be good and their kind of game.
What makes it worse is, EA have so fucked up their launch of BF4 that sites are withholding a score for their reviews until they get to play on actual launch servers, and such action is met with “lol waiting for that M$/£A cheque to clear huh” style comments.
I mean, seriously? That’s where your brain went, having read a paragraph that literally says “we have a score in mind already, but we want to confirm launch servers work before scoring due to the lack of offline play”?
The internet, at every level, is becoming a hole people pour their shitty anonymous hatred into. Twitter has become a place where people spew ignorance and goad celebrities into fights, Facebook continues to be a thing I visit rarely to check in with the OU work groups and have the odd perusal of friends’ posts whilst attempting to ignore the “fucking say it to my face dickbag” passive aggression people seem to use the damn site for these days, and Tumblr is 50/50 ignorance and extremist views of sensible concepts (there’s a difference between “you can’t understand what it’s like to be like me” and “kill all the cis fuckbags”, guys). But none of it is bad as the comments section on any given gaming website on any given article.
Here are some genuine posts to Eurogamer’s comments threads from articles:
From an article about Ubisoft announcing an Assassins Creed 4 re-release with all DLC bundled: “Haha! I’m clever and didn’t buy this because this always happens. Every purchaser so far is an idiot as you only need to wait 5 months these days for £20 off and shitloads of free downloads you lot paid £30 for. That and the pc drivers are better now too.”
Titanfall review, lacking a score while they await live server play:
- "The 9’s are hitting all over. Suck it up PS4 boys, there is nothing worthwhile to play on your console. No point in having the technical advantage if the games are all dull. Looking forward to downloading this tomorrow and getting involved in THE game to be playing right now." - except, natch, all the well reviewed multiplatform games?
- “CoD is finished. GHOSTS killed it. This is the replacement and its not on PS4. Oh dear.” - why does every game have to be on every machine, again? Plus, they already said COD is now on a 3-studio cycle, a game a year…
- “Nail on the head. Xbox One is a joke. I am selling mine” - he says, not having seen the score to the first big console release of the generation on said platform…
- “They wouldn’t do this unless it was going to be a 10/10.” - or maybe they’d do it for the reasons they stated, ie it is multiplayer only and therefore only as good as the ability to get a game at all?
- ”? Was this REVIEW!” - yes, it was; all that text, it was review. Score is arbitrary number used to summarise feeling. Comrade.
- "Did the cheque from MS not clear or are you just eeking out the news? 9/10, right?” - it literally says at the top why there’s no number assigned to the review. The text, however, is fully readable for you to come to your own non-numerical conclusion…
- “Starting with Titanfall we’re changing our review policy so we can mark the game down for the inevitable server issues that every multiplayer game gets at launch. We’ve never done this before but if we don’t do something Sony won’t give us all that lovely advertising they’ve promised us……” - or maybe, just maybe, it’s because they gave BF4 a great score, only to watch as the net code utterly ruined any chance of getting a game, making said score moot, and once burned, they’re not willing to put their hand in the fire again?
Those are just typical comments, now, on any article. People act like they see every pixel on screen, can tell the difference between 45FPS and 60FPS, and more importantly like your choice of gaming method makes you a fucking retard shit dick fag noob.
I’m giving up rapidly even visiting gaming news sites; headlines tend to filter out to my other media outlets anyway (Facebook links tend to give the headline and a brief summary, for instance) and they’re just full of such shitty bile.
Problem is, so is everything else to do with it. Youtube comments, Twitch stream comments… it’s just a constant stream of “lol fuxx dis game shitcock”.
Maybe I just need to internet detox a while.
You now have links to two straight hours of Scenes From A Hat from the show Whose Line is it Anyway.
oh my GOD
PARDON ME BUT THOSE WERE MY FAVORITE FUCKING PARTS OF WHOSE LINE OMG
/SLAPS THIS ON BLOG AND TAGS REFERENCE FOR GOOD LAUGHS
GUESS WHO JUST DIED WATCHING THROUGH THE FIRST
YOU WANT THIS SHIT
REBLOGGING SO I CAN FIND LATER OMG YES!
I was just a 17-year old kid from the Bronx with dreams of becoming a scientist, and somehow the world’s most famous astronomer found time to invite me to Ithaca in upstate NY and spend a Saturday with him.
I remember that snowy day like it was yesterday. He met me at the bus stop. He showed me his laboratory at Cornell University. Carl reached behind his desk, and inscribed this book (Cosmic Connection) for me:
For Neil Tyson,
With all good wisdom to a future astronomer.
- Carl Sagan
At the end of the day, he drove me back to the bus station. The snow was falling harder. He wrote his phone number, his home phone number, on a scrap of paper. And he said, “If the bus can’t get through, call me. Spend the night at my home, with my family.”
I already knew I wanted to become a scientist, but that afternoon I learned from Carl the kind of person I wanted to become. He reached out to me and to countless others. Inspiring so many of us to study, teach, and do science. Science is a co-operative enterprise, spanning the generations. It’s the passing of a torch from teacher to student to teacher. A community of minds reaching back from antiquity and forward to the stars."
Neil DeGrasse Tyson, in the most inspiring moment of ‘Cosmos’
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This website conspires against my face’s normal dryness I swear